Everything I have been building comes from lived experience — from relationships and friendships, and the strain on them as I learned and understood who I am. My hope is that this can offer support in saving the relationships and friendships people already have.

I asked to be screened for autism and ADHD because so many of my needs conflicted with each other. My sensory needs. My dietary needs. The way I thought. The way I communicated.

Autism and ADHD often co-occur — and for me they did not take turns. They contradicted each other, on the same day, sometimes in the same hour.

There was no predicting how I would wake up. I could make a plan I was genuinely looking forward to — seeing my best friend, seeing family — and wake up that morning unable to do it. Unable to function. Not because I didn't want to go.

How I would present on any given day was a mystery until the moment I opened my eyes.

It is disconcerting not only for the person living it, but for everyone around them. From lived experience — my family and friends, the friendships I still have and the ones I lost because they thought I was a flaky friend who was never there.

It is as if there are program chips: one is put in, taken out, and replaced with another that is completely different. I would not say Jekyll and Hyde. But there were times I asked myself — why can I not be the same consistent character the whole time?

That is what led me to the severe personal crisis of 2025.

Coupled with the crisis came a spiritual awakening — an awareness returning to the highly intuitive, almost psychic ability I had as a child. The one we all have as children, before so many of us shut it down and close it off.

As the unmasking opened, so did synchronicities, Carl Jung's theories, a deepening of science, and beautiful experiences the universe was showing me — angel numbers, very strong signs from the divine — showing me I am supported. It has been a lot to contend with, at a time when my lucidity was being questioned.

But standing in my truth has helped me. This is who I have always been. I no longer shy away from saying it openly: what I went through was a spiritual awakening — one of many kinds of awakening across the last eighteen months — and I am no longer afraid to use my voice and speak my truth.

I hope this can support others with this too. It is time to unmask in confidence. It is the world that needs to catch up to us.

I say the divine, but it depends what people subscribe to — source, God, the universe. However it is named, there have been so many signs and synchronicities that I now know there is no such thing as a coincidence. Everything has been happening for a reason.

And I noticed the cycles — the same ones repeating again and again. As someone said to me: do not expect a different outcome if you keep doing the same thing. So I have been breaking the cycles, making a conscious effort to step back from energies and relationships that were not good for me.

That has come at huge personal cost, and huge changes to some of my relationships. It has not been easy.

My intuition has generally never been wrong — but I was made to question it throughout my life. Your gut instinct never lies. I now listen to it so much more, and I finally have self-belief that my instinct and intuition are generally spot on.

I spent years second-guessing my initial gut instinct; trusting it has brought about incredible changes. Building DysPhilter is one of them.

Following multiple lived experiences, something in me said: I cannot continue like this — and something literally took over, switching me into my higher self. Inspiration means in spirit. DysPhilter has been built by listening to my higher self — my intuition, my heart space, my instinct. It was built through inspiration, grounded in lived experience.

I did not sit down one day and decide to become a software designer. I had never touched anything like this in my life — never built anything, never even had the thought of building something like this. I have been led in spirit, and I have been walking in faith and trust — following this process even when it made absolutely no sense to me.

This was never about looking for a gap in the market. Not one piece of DysPhilter came from analysing what is out there or what is missing. It started with the RSD communication tool, and it grew — not from scope creep, not from 'add this feature, add that feature', but from lived experience, piece by piece.

I have no funding — it is entirely self-funded — and I had no knowledge of the business world. Only towards the end did I learn that nothing like this exists. That has never interested me, and it was never in my mind.

I have simply been guided — carried by something that has helped me build this. It has been built from the heart, the spirit, the soul. I do not fully know what to call it.

So many people tell me they admire my honesty, my vulnerability, my openness — and I keep thinking: why? Why are we not more open and honest? Why do we not show our vulnerability, our human selves? Why must we project that we are holding it all together?

One thing I have learned in the last eighteen months, through my spiritual awakening and being guided to certain videos and podcasts, is that authenticity is the highest vibration, the highest frequency. When you step into your authenticity and your truth, you become aligned to the things that are trying to find you.

That may scare people — the steady nine-to-five, Monday-to-Friday job. I have had to step back from that. My brain and my body no longer work that way. What I am able to do has shifted massively — and I prefer the word create now, rather than work.

I am led by my inspiration. It might be one o'clock in the morning, when I wake with a download of information that has to be written down. I might work in bursts — thirty minutes of intense focus, and then I need rest. Not can't. Just rest.

Stepping into authenticity may mean leaving a job you have thought about leaving for eight years but kept for the steady income. If you have faith and trust in the process, and you follow what your heart has been quietly thinking about starting or creating or building — start. It does not need to be a huge, big start. Just start it. That is all I can share from this.

Some days I could sit for three hours, unable to act on something I knew I would enjoy. The want and the ability were in two different places, and there was a wall between them — inside my head, inside my nervous system — that I have never found the words to describe.

People thought I was making excuses. So did I, for a long time. That was the crisis — not the days themselves, but not understanding why they happened. I felt destroyed. I felt I was letting down the people I love, and myself.

“Just do it. Break it down.” If breaking it down had been the answer, I would not have needed to build this.

Then my mum died, in March 2026. Her time in hospital, with sensory processing differences, while grieving.

The grief came in ways I did not recognise as grief — delayed, because of alexithymia. I would be flooded with emotion one day and feel completely apathetic the next. I questioned my own mind, and my own heart. Living like that is disconcerting in a way I cannot overstate.

So many people are holding on by a thread — to their life, to their relationships — whether they have a formal diagnosis, relate to what they see online while waiting years to be screened, or have no diagnosis at all. This is for their friends, partners, and family members as well: support in how to exist in a relationship with someone who is autistic, ADHD, or both.

None of this is about excusing anything. There are genuine reasons why relationships come under strain — and things can change throughout a day, from holding a conversation to situational mutism or burnout within minutes. It is about supporting everyone in the relationship, because I know how difficult it can be.

Many people will recognise all of this — diagnosed, self-diagnosed, or none of the above. I know from my own life that some people will take a person's truth and use it as a weapon against them. I am sharing it anyway — so truth can be shared safely, on a person's own terms, and so it reaches the person who reads it and feels seen. If that is you, this was built for you.