Standard. Full detail. Turn on any support you need, they layer together.
Live example: these are the full standard words. Turn on Ease or Soothe, and this line itself becomes simpler.
Lived experience
After a late diagnosis, your communication changes — and the people around you read it as rejection. These cards map what they see onto what's really happening, framed as a health necessity, not a relationship rejection. Send one. It does the explaining for you.
At a glance
The surprise call
What they see
They're ignoring my call and being cold.
What's really happening
A surprise call triggers panic. My dyspraxic brain needs huge energy to turn live thoughts into words without preparation. Texting lets me connect safely.
What would help
A one-line text first, so I can prepare. I'm not pulling away; I'm protecting the energy it takes to be present with you.
The long reply delay
What they see
They're leaving me on read. They don't care.
What's really happening
After masking all day, my words are gone. Replying takes processing time I don't have left. The delay is fatigue, not indifference.
What would help
Give me time. A late reply still means I care — I just need to recover before I can speak.
The shutdown
What they see
They've gone quiet and weird. They're being off with me.
What's really happening
When demand exceeds capacity, my system shuts down to protect itself. I can't speak, but I can hear you. It's not a choice, and it passes.
What would help
Don't ask me to explain. Just sit with me, or near me. Low demand, low light. I'll come back when I can.
The 'I can't come'
What they see
They never want to do anything anymore.
What's really happening
An event costs me days of energy, not hours. Saying no is how I stay well enough to be here at all. It's not you — it's the load.
What would help
Short, low-energy ways to see each other matter more than big plans. A walk, a coffee, or just being in the same room.
The sudden need to leave
What they see
They just walked out. Rude.
What's really happening
When sensory input crosses a threshold, I have to leave before I melt down. It's a safety move, not a choice about you.
What would help
Let me go without making me explain. I'll reach out when I'm regulated again.